My Expectations..

well...have you ever noticed how your boyfriends always say wat they expect from you
why is it that you never say it to them
why is it that you are scared to criticise how they behave o how they act around you and ur fwends
well i for one think that its tym that we opend op to them
tell them what we epect from them
aint that right??...
gurls get criticised on wat they wear how they act all the tym...
but hu does the same to the guys??..
yea nobody..
well we gurls want n expect stuff from you too
so here goes
you should....
trust me
be there for me.... emotionally and in other ways(..you know..)
have fun with me
shoouldnt be selffish in bed...:P
be strong...make me feel secure
support me in my decisions
love me unconditionally
let me cry once in a while....(it helps me relax...i like it...)
understand how important my friends are to me
let me go out with my friends once in a while
dont show that you hate my friends even if u do..
(they mean a lot to me..n it hurts wen my b.f dont like my friends)
please remember i have guy friends too...
it dont mean i'm gona leave you
dontshow so many flaws in me...i know i'm not perfect...
just tell me once n i will try to make it better:)
dont tell me so much...then it just annoys me...
tell me if there is something that i am not allowed to do...
if you give me a sensible reason for not being abale to do it..i will stop
otherwise i wont....coz there is no reason to...
coz then its jus you feeling jealous....
shouldnt make me feel like i'm being unfaithful wen i am not
shouldnt try to change me...(i love being my free myself)
try not to get easily moody for the smallest things
(like wen i go home alone...
like wen i talk to a guy friend of mine...
com on trust me a little
like me having to go home so early...
please i would feel sad too when i have to leave avahah dho..
shudhnt be over protective
sholdnt amoke..ugh!!..i cant stand the smell..)
shouldnt be like a wana-be gangsta n go to fights and stuff..(i mean marunuvegentha thiulhenee..)
never fight with friends coz of me...(that jus aint right...)


so thats all i could come up with at the moment...
hehe..
well hope that helps ...
hehe
wow
that actually felt good..
hehe...
o well gtg..
papi papi hug hug
ciao

My prayer..

dear lord
its me again
i just need to say
m sory for the things that i have done
m sory i did stuff that u ddnt like
m sory for being quite about my life
m sory for being the person that every one hates
m sory that i upset u wen i left him
m sory i am a disapointment
m sory that i fell in love
m sory i love him so much
m sory for expecting my fwends to be there for me
m sory for counting on you
m sory for expecting my family to understand me
m sory for the fact that i cant be the perfect girl
m sory i ask u for so much
m sory i ever asked u for happiness
m sory i cant make u happy
m sory m trying to kill myself
m sory ...
but please..
i ask of u only one thing more
please keep my family happy...
take away all the pain i cause them
plese let them be ok wen im gone....
amen

And i was gone

everything around me feels ampty

wind feels lifeless

sweet sounds that gave me peace

is now mute to my ears

my sensiblity shattering as if a glass wall

my eyes drymy heart softly crying with in

my body feels as though i havent eaten in days

my brain ready to explode with in its dark walls

my bones aching...

i feel too tired to go on...

too tired to end it all

i'm just too tired to fight

at the brink of gving up

i try to see how my life was...

how everything used to be

i stare out at nothing

trying to picture how my life was

i see nothing

my past is a blur to me...

so many painful memories..

so many years of hiding them

so many years of trying to forget them

everything is now gone

in the end..

all i see is my self

standing here alone..

all alone

unable to break free

my frustration driving me craxy

i cant take it cant take this pain anymore

my desire to live long gone

all i yearn for is now death

death is my escape..

.death alone can save me

i lay myself on the middle of the cold road...

i close mu eyes...

i let go...

n i was gone

April Fools Day!!

hei guys
its april fools day..
dd u get fooled today...
hehe..
i still wana fool sumone..
hmmm..
maybe i will
lets see...
thinks wat to do...
**ting**
(light bulb over head)
aha!!!
yea i cud do dat..
**runs off to fool sumone...**
hehehe....

Escape....

i hug myself in tha dark
hoping to comfort my self
i grasp my clothes
trying to hold the tears...
my heart ready to burst
i hear my self screaming in my head
crying and cursing about my life
wat dd i do wrong to deserve this
is my love so punishable??
i wish i could jus run away..
leave all my troubles behind
never come back
start my own happy life
but everything around me has forced me...
forced me to open my eyes to reality
a reality that has no life..
no love for me
only imprisonment
if only i could runaway..
evade this terror that i call life
then all my troubles wud fade away..
so that i may be tranquil

Victory Dhathuru

hehe..
we went on that dhathuru we were tawking about..
its was planned so quickly dat we cudnt even prepare properly..
but it was a blast
had loads of fun :)
hehe...

dey called us on friday evening n told us dat the dhathuru was the next day..
n dat we were leaving on the v early morning before iruaranings o
at five thirty o
haha..
but the poor nidhan miyarun...**giggle**
we left at around six fiteen o sumthing..

ekolhah gossa enmen sai hadhaigen sai boegen
den everyone went to play..
n then rah vashaa hingeee...
we played catch n faigathalhaa
sum even played baibalaa...
saying..."kabadi kabadi kabadi....."**v avas avahah..**
lol u cudnt help laugh till my tummy hurt..
bodu beru ves jehi..
n sum danced ves me..
hehe...v majaa..
thank u nabe for tha great songs..:P.. lmao
u jus crack me up

dhen hama ehen kulhe kulhefa..
mendhuru athah eryma keky....
n while sum were cooking..others played..
u know sum charads.. dho..u know miming..
yea dat..
we had to mime songs..
v majaaa...

dhen enmen kaigen
i went to change..
n then anburaa ai iru farrey n wade n the guys were making sum stuff ..
i knerw sumthing was up..
hehe
so i jus walked up to my bag n farrey came bi..
i asked him anything was up n he told me balaigen ulhecho thaby gayah ves gos dhaaneyo..lol
so i split..

i hid around n moodhah erunee...
moodhuga ovaa balaaves ai.. but neyreema dhiyai..hehe i hid around for most of the trip after that n furaa gadi ah emyhun kairiah dhiyai..
hehe..

den enemen echhi pac kohgen dhonayah araafa bodu beru jahamun lava baxee kulhemun dhiyai..while sum (inlcuding me) too sum zzzzz..
hehe..
well we got to male around six
n all headed home wuickly coz every oone had class in da morning...
haha..

v longu ves vejje dho this post..
well kuru kohlaanun..
will cum bak with tha pics later...ingey.
mwahx n hugx..